THE SWISS ARMY knife was missing and trouble loomed. A screw would be loose, a piece of string would need cutting, a can or bottle would demand opening and nothing could be done. He can do without car keys, wallet, credit cards, even breakfast and lunch (if eventually there is dinner), but without the Swiss Army knife, a smallish, simple model with two blades, two screw drivers, can and bottle openers, he is alone. Defenceless.
The search for a replacement led him to London Cutlery on Robson Street, the Mountain Equipment Co-op, and an article in The Smithsonian magazine (October 1989) that disclosed that Swiss Army knives are, in fact, made for the Swiss Army. He felt reassured. He had rather expected some marketing mythology. (The disappointment at discovering Betty Crocker did not exist in real life had been shattering.)
The Swiss knife people are having a 100th birthday party. In 1891, Karl Elsener, a German-speaking Swiss maker of scissors and knives, organized the Association of Swiss Master Cutlers to develop a home-grown pocket knife for the Swiss Army. The army had previously imported its knives from Germany. His company is Victorinox, named for his grandmother. It makes the “original” Swiss Army knife, but now shares the army’s knife contract with the Wengler company, which claims, honestly, to make “genuine” Swiss Army knives. (The inevitably neutral Swiss Army feels it must split its knife requirements between the two Swiss companies.)
Victorinox knives are distributed in Canada by Smico Inc. of St. Laurent, Que. The company offers 150 models. The least expensive is the single blade Chum, for $8. For $275, you get the works with scissors, nail file, saw, fish scaler, magnifying glass, tweezers, toothpick, ruler and watch. It comes in a survival kit with compass, matches, sewing thread, three Band-Aids, writing paper, ballpoint pen and matches. Among other things.
So what new knife did he purchase? None. The old one, a reliable guide model, worth about $15, turned up in a corner of the upholstery on the couch where he’d sneaked an afternoon nap.
